Over the last few weeks, I have been editing my 1st draft of my short film, COVET. It had been difficult to incorporate the changes I needed. I took a few days off, worked on a romcom piece I’m currently researching and writing called CAKE.
Boy was it worth it, as well as having this (in my eyes) amazing romcom falling together, it has given me a fresh breath to tackle the editing and rewrite.
Covert 2nd Draft.
Int. Lindsey’s bedroom – morning
LINDSEY, 18, is getting herself ready for college, checking her industrial tool-box sized make-up before putting the finishing touches to her own make-up, in her stage style mirror. She is constantly texting,her BFF KATY, also 18 about meeting up, Katy Perry is playing on her phone. Loud.
Lindsey
(singing)California gurls
We’re unforgettable
Daisy dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
We’ll melt your Popsicle
INT. LOUNGE – MORNING
Mum bangs on the ceiling with a walking stick.
MUM
shut the fuck up with that noise
INT. LINDSEY’S BEDROOM – MORNING
LINDSEY
yeah whatevs
Lindsey puts her headphones in her ear and phone, checks herself in mirror, collecting her bags she gives a look at her posters.
LINDSEY
(quietly to herself) One day, Katy, One day, I’ll have what you do.
She checks her room, it’s tidy. Lindsey closes her bedroom day, takes a deep breath and goes down the stairs into the lounge.
INt. lounge – morning
Lindsey climbs over the mess, pushing piles of laundry to one side so she can put her make-up box down.
LINDSEY
(muttering) bloody house stinks
MUM
ya, got sumat to say hun? ya could always get of ya fat arse and give us a fucking ‘and!
LINDSEY
Ain’t my fuckin’ mess is it?
DAD
oi! don’t you be speaking to yer mam like that, an’ why do ye’ ave to wear so much shite on yer face? eh?
LINDSEY
Seriously? you gonna complain about my face.
Lindsey shakes her head in dismay and storms into the kitchen.
Int. Kitchen – morning
Lindsey puts the grill on and gets the sausages out of the fridge, dancing across back to put them under the grill. One headphone hanging loose she is still listening to her pop idol, dancing around gathering what she needs to make a sausage butty.
She starts to tidy up the kitchen while waiting then gives up when she realises how bad it is.
DAD(shouts from lounge)
put kettle on Linds.
Lindsey glances at the kettle, makes herself a drink, then empties the rest of the hot water away.
She finishes making her butty, and goes into the lounge with her travel mug of coffee and butty.
INT. LOUNGE – MORNING
Back in the lounge and LINDSEY’S PARENTS are sitting on the sofa watching breakfast tv, they argue with each other over the news.
DAD
Can ya believe this? eh? so called celebrity wages! that’s not a wage
MUM
what would you know what a wage is?
DAD
I bloody well used to get one on docks.
MUM
for sitting in a ffn chair all day
DAD
more than you bleedin’ ‘av ever done.
MUM
I had ‘er dint I? (pointing to Lindsey)that were enuf.
DAD
where’s my brew?
LINDSEY
in the kitchen where d’ya think?!
DAD
you’re an ungrateful little bitch, maybe it’s time we kick ya out an’ let ya fend for yerself
MUM
(laughs) yeh like that would ‘appen.
LINDSEY
omg! i look after myself now, dint see you gettin’ my breakfast eh? call yourself parents? thats a fucking joke…
MUM
you’re more than big enough to get your own food.
Mum nods towards Lindsey hinting at her weight, while puffing on a cigarette.
DAD
(laughing) ha! ya good one, eh Linds, you not gonna starve ar ya.
LINDSEY
maybe there will be a program about parenting you can watch
She looks over to the tv, the breakfast show is on.
MUM
fuck off, told ya don’t be speaking to me like that, you’ll be bloody grounded.
LINDSEY
yeah whateva!(muttering)just do one!
Lindsey grabs her bag and her make-up box, as her parents continue with the name calling, and makes her way to the front door, breakfast in hand.
ext. Lindsey’s house to bus stop – morning
Lindsey opens the door as her phone beeps, she drops her bag to check out the message.
Phone screen-
Congrats Lindsey! Really g8 audition,Cant w8 2 c u in the house 2moro. The Our House Team.xxx
LINDSEY
Woooh! Yess!!! ohmigod!!
Lindsey sticks her head back in the house and shouts to her parents.
LINDSEY
Im outta here tomorrow, so you can stick your fucking house and grounding shit.
She slams the front door shut, picks up her things walks down the overgrown path and walks the short distance to Katy’s house.
KATY’s House
Katy’s house is an ex-council property, its well maintained with hanging baskets out front, and a cutsie welcoming sign hanging above the front door. Lindsey knocks, and waits. Katy’s Mum, ElAINE, early 50’s opens the door.
ELAINE
Lindsey! hello dear, have you had breakfast? come on in.
LINDSEY
morning Mrs Crompton, I’m okay ta, sorry, thanks. Is Katy ready?
ELAINE
nearly, go on through to the kitchen
Lindsey goes through to the kitchen, Katy’s home is tidy clean and her parents are what you expect parents to be. Katy is sat at the dining table with her dad, finishing a cup of tea and toast. Lindsey leans on the worktop. She nods toward the front door to Katy.
KATY
give me a min. Daaaad…
Katy’s dad
yes princess?
Katy gives him her best smile, head tilted
KATY
any chance you lend me some money please, I err need to get this textbook for college.
KATY’S DAD
Sure princess, how much? £20 be enough?
KATY
(looking at Lindsey smiling, winks) Yeah thanks Dad, that’s great.
Lindsey rolls her eyes, knowing full well this is for Katy’s smokes. Katy takes the money, kisses her dad bye, hugs her mum, grabs her bags from next to the front door and shoves Lindsey out before her.. They walk to the us stop.
EXT. katy’s House to Bus stop – day
KATY
whats up with your RBF today? ‘rents again?
LINDSEY
what else. But fuck ’em! I’m in! I got in!
KATY
What?! really when? omg thats so fuckin’ ace! We are gonna have so much fun. Paaaarrtty!
LINDSEY
I know! have you heard anything yet?
KATY
(checking her phone) nothing yet,sure it will be soon. yeah?
They join the queue at the bus stop, Katy changes the subject, showing physical boredom with it.
KATY
so what ya got today?
LINDSEY
test on eyebrows (wiggling hers)
The girls laugh, the bus arrives and they finish their conversation sitting
int- On the bus – day
KATY
think you got that one covered, I’ve got a resit in head massage, I mean how can you go wrong swear that ole bag had it in for me
LINDSEY
think it might have been you din’t notice she had a wig on? (laughs)
KATY
omg that was scary! I mean it was so real, till it started to slip!
LINDSEY
well when we are famous we wont have to worry about things like that, someone else will doing our hair who is not a student.
KATY
sooo glad I don’t have to let them touch my hair now (flicks her hair out)
Katy’s phone beeps a message. The girls look at each other.
LINDSEY
C’mom quick!!whats up?
KATY
(reading from her phone)We thought u were g8 but not a fit with the other house mates this year’ You got in an’ we hang out! joke!
LINDSEY
well i’ll have to win for both of us now,then won’t I.
KATY
yeah, so you’re gonna need a game plan now i’m not to there to help you.
LINDSEY
seriously, I got it covered. I won’t let this change us
KATY
Don’t be get soft on me,no way you gettin’ rid of me tho’. so plan?
LINDSEY
maybe i’ll get my v-card swiped.
KATY
(shock then pride on her face) that’s my girl! I can be your PR girl on the outside, OMG this will be amazing!
Lindsey catches the headline on a passegers newspaper, saying her pop idol has a stalker and received death threats.
EXT. Reality show house -night
LINDSEY has just pulled up with KATY in a limo and is ready to enter the house, she has to give interviews first. katy stands next to her. Camera lights flashing, media crew are all facing a temporary mini stage.
LINDSEY
Just wanna say thanks to my mate Katy, for supporting me tonight, even though she dint get in ‘erself. This is gonna be awesome, an’ make me an’ Katy someones when I win.
The crowd cheer her on as the rest of the house mates say Hi to the media. Lindsey hugs Katy, crying and goes inside.
KATY gives an interview once LINDSEY has gone
Reporter
Katy, do you know how Lindsey intends to win?
KATY
Yeah, of course I do, I’m ‘er best mate. She is gonna pop her cherry (laughing)
ext.Reality Show house – night
Lindsey is playing table tennis outside with a young male, DECLAN,19, they are laughing and flirting.
V.O.
it’s day 6 in the house, and Lindsey is getting cozy with Declan, will she tell him what we already know?
Declan and Lindsey get cozy in her bedroom after lights out. All that is hear is muffled giggling.
INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT
Katy is out clubbing with friends
KATY
yeah, Lindsey’s like me sister. We’ve grown up together. well when I was there at the house, I told the papers, what she was doing. It was my idea, totally.
barman arrives with a tray of drinks
KATY
wooh! party! yeah great more free drinks. To Lindsey!
EXT. REALITY SHOW HOUSE -DAY
Lindsey leaves the house with Declan as joint winner. The MEDIA go wild to speak with LINDSEY after her special performance in the house.
REPORTER
Lindsey! how did Declan take the news of you publicly wanting to lose your virginity to win?
Lindsey looks over to Declan, he drops her hand and walks away visibly shaken and upset.
REPORTER
Does Declan leaving Lindsey, mean he didn’t know about this?
Its now Lindsey’s turn to look shaken
LINDSEY
sorry, I… I err no he didn’t, (she stuttered then sees Katy, egging her on) (more confidently) But hey, where’s the fun in that eh? (laughs)
Her new AGENT takes her to one side. Katy Perry Part of Me playing in the background.
AGENT
well done Lindsey, we have got lots for you to do, lots of offers for interviews on the table, and they are all paying.
LINDSEY
Fantastic!
Lindsey hugs her agent, and waves Katy over while winking at nice guys in the crowd.
Int. nightclub – night
LINDSEY is dancing with KATY, a few hangers on are with them it’s obvious the friendship with Katy is not as strong. Katy goes to the Bar on her own.
KATY
hiya, can I have a couple of those orange and yellow cocktails we had before, it’s for Lindsey, you know? just won Our House?
INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT
Another night out. LINDSEY is partying with her friends from the house included DECLAN who forgave her. KATY is not invited.
INT. Restaurant – night 7.50pm
Katy arrives early at a posh restaurant to meet Lindsey for Katy’s birthday.
KATY
hi yeah a table for two booked under Lindsey Terry.
front of house
right this way. would you like a drink while you wait?
KATY
Please, can I have a (she looks around the room, of mostly older couples) a large red wine please.
FRONT OF HOUSE
certainly.
FOH leaves Katy. She brings back a glass of wine , which Katy sips. KATY is still sat in the restaurant waiting twenty minutes have passed, Lindsey is not answering he phone. Looking out the window she notices a crowd going into the nightclub.KATY then notices LINDSEY is with the crowd
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT – 8.08PM
KATY picks up a knife from the table and put it in her handbag.she waves over a waiter.
Katy
(angry) Can I pay for this please?
The waiter nods, and takes payment, Katy calmly leaves the restaurant.
EXt. Street – NIGHT
KATY walked calmly to the nightclub and joined the short queue, her handbag clutched tightly to her side.
KATY(to the bouncer)
Hey, I’m with Lindsey, we were here together the other night?
He nods, and lifts the rope for her to get in.
INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT 8.25pm
KATY sees LINDSEY across the dancefloor,ironically Katy Perry Chained to the Rhythm is playing. Katy see’s Lindsey and approaches her. She taps LINDSEY on the shoulder. LINDSEY turns, sees KATY and is shocked.
LINDSEY
err Katy, Hi, I err tried to call, did you get my messages?
KATY
No, arh, don’t worry.
KATY goes in to hug her and stabs her with the knife in the back.
INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT 8.25PM
The nearby crowd scream when they see blood and the knife. LINDSEY finally understands what is happening. KATY takes a step back as the doormen arrive on the scene.
The Coffeehouse Writer 